Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The NEWS!!!
I discovered that i have a knack for digging up gud news stories, so ive decided to host an online news show on this very web page!! Lucky you...
Note: this has nothing to do with the statistic that 90% of all newspapermen get laid a lot........... absolutely nothing at all
First up, as you can see in this picture, Zelnoth the zebra stole lena the lioness' food and made a quick getaway on his honda CBR 1000RR. Lena suffered minor burns, while Zelnoth has developed severe diarrhoea(thats the actual spelling) and shows symptoms of psychosis, after having eaten, what lena later revealed, was his own brother. While Zelnoth was i
n prison, he revealed that he was not alone in committing this dastardly deed. Porky the pig was also involved. And as you can see in this next picture, porky was soon apprehended by the authorities.
In other, more human related news, we have come to the conclusion that george bush is a clueless idiot. Here he is, looking for Osama, all over iraq, while we have a picture of him checking out an apartment on 5th avenue, for investment purpo
ses. We also caught sight of him later at a famous nightclub, along with pam anderson. When pam was asked whether she supported osama's terrorist acts, she stopped blowing him long enough to say "who's osama??" As we were saying, pam anderson is stupid.
In other news, eminem, sick of fans intruding on his personal space, hounding him at all hours of the nite for an autograph, put a sign up in front of his house.
We here at CNS(cyke's news service) managed to take a picture of it, before he blew a foot wide hole in our cameraman, with his personalized gun, which was later confiscated. this is an artist's conception of what it looked like:
In more unimportant news, an anti-harassment group in the US started giving out these t-shirts for free, to anyone who wanted them. this is the general design:-->
They however, packed up their bags in a hurry, when this <--------douchebag (he's a guy, by the way) came along, and asked if they had one in a size 32. Why, you may ask? Because they had a size 30 and a size 34, but no 32. tragic indeed....
And, in our main story, we have with us baseball billy--------------------->
On first sight, he appears to be healthy and normal, but that was before THIS
happened(look below and gasp suitably at the horror you see)
Billy was severely traumatized by the incident, and was admitted to the finest hospital, where he was in the ICU for 4 weeks. He then released a statement, telling everyone he was okay, but had never experienced such pain and suffering before. This is a guy who is regularly hit by a stick of hardwood, so you can imagine how it must have felt..... Meanwhile, the player was okay, because he is part chinese. if you dont understand, just wait until you learn a little bit more about the world, then come back and read this blog. From Kerala, India, for the CNS network, this is cyke. See ya!
Note: this has nothing to do with the statistic that 90% of all newspapermen get laid a lot........... absolutely nothing at all
First up, as you can see in this picture, Zelnoth the zebra stole lena the lioness' food and made a quick getaway on his honda CBR 1000RR. Lena suffered minor burns, while Zelnoth has developed severe diarrhoea(thats the actual spelling) and shows symptoms of psychosis, after having eaten, what lena later revealed, was his own brother. While Zelnoth was i
n prison, he revealed that he was not alone in committing this dastardly deed. Porky the pig was also involved. And as you can see in this next picture, porky was soon apprehended by the authorities.
In other, more human related news, we have come to the conclusion that george bush is a clueless idiot. Here he is, looking for Osama, all over iraq, while we have a picture of him checking out an apartment on 5th avenue, for investment purpo
ses. We also caught sight of him later at a famous nightclub, along with pam anderson. When pam was asked whether she supported osama's terrorist acts, she stopped blowing him long enough to say "who's osama??" As we were saying, pam anderson is stupid.In other news, eminem, sick of fans intruding on his personal space, hounding him at all hours of the nite for an autograph, put a sign up in front of his house.
We here at CNS(cyke's news service) managed to take a picture of it, before he blew a foot wide hole in our cameraman, with his personalized gun, which was later confiscated. this is an artist's conception of what it looked like:
In more unimportant news, an anti-harassment group in the US started giving out these t-shirts for free, to anyone who wanted them. this is the general design:-->
They however, packed up their bags in a hurry, when this <--------douchebag (he's a guy, by the way) came along, and asked if they had one in a size 32. Why, you may ask? Because they had a size 30 and a size 34, but no 32. tragic indeed....
And, in our main story, we have with us baseball billy--------------------->
On first sight, he appears to be healthy and normal, but that was before THIS
happened(look below and gasp suitably at the horror you see)
Billy was severely traumatized by the incident, and was admitted to the finest hospital, where he was in the ICU for 4 weeks. He then released a statement, telling everyone he was okay, but had never experienced such pain and suffering before. This is a guy who is regularly hit by a stick of hardwood, so you can imagine how it must have felt..... Meanwhile, the player was okay, because he is part chinese. if you dont understand, just wait until you learn a little bit more about the world, then come back and read this blog. From Kerala, India, for the CNS network, this is cyke. See ya!
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]